i was here

the 2 year mark

march 13, 2012 will be my 2 yr anniversary with the company. and well since i’m resigning, that sounds like a good day to make my last. right? RIGHT.

i spoke to my boss about resigning from my position today and i guess this weekend i have a formal letter to write. i’ll submit it on monday, february 13th and exactly 1 month later, i will be out of the job. oh, boy.  here we go….


was here.

debt and following your heart..

yes, it is official. i’m leaving my stressful corp job.

i think.

sometimes i am indecisive. sometimes i am certain of what to do.

my school debt says, “don’t you dare leave this job!” but, my heart says “just. run.”

it feels like a new season for me. and i have to trust in that … and with a new season comes change. sometimes, scary change called risk.


was here.

the sound of silence

i’m off to the mountains for the weekend. time to re-focus and re-priorities.

now i gotta go unplug.


was here.

a lil bit for me

i had a portraiture drawing class tonight. yep. i signed up because it will give me a little structure. i paid for it so i’ll go to it and therefore, i will have blocked out this time every week to just do something for myself. the class ends kind of late — 10:45 PM. awesome. we had a male model with long black hair wearing a beanie. anyway, class went OK. i’m a bit rusty with my drawing lately but who cares?!!! it sure felt good to just draw.

i was asking a few of my classmates how long they’ve been drawing (a few of them are really good), and it looks like about 6 to 8 years.

um. all i can say at the moment is.. i have a looong way to go…


was here.

there comes a time

ladies and gentlemen, it has been 2 whole years of my life with this company. i graduated in ’09, by ’10 i was hired for a company which my dad helped grow and it is now a very well established corporation. but the time has come and i’m moving on..  i have to. i have to move on to the next chapter. i’ve gotten nothing accomplished for myself in the creative field. i feel like i haven’t gotten any closer to my DREAM. i have loved working at a company i feel so passionate about… however, i’m also ready to progress on with my life. i have tried out the corporate world. i have done a good.. perhaps, a great job. nonetheless, i’m also not meant for such a profession. why?! because i am an artist. my bones say so.

i need to be free. i need to do as i feel. i cannot be tied down to a strict schedule, and be stuck in an office during the best part of the day, and be bossed around; it feels like a waste of a life — it drives me craaazy!

if i don’t produce art, well then, i’m  m i s e r a b l e .  and everyone can see it. i can’t hide it. it is in my DNA to … create.

i just know with all my heart and soul that it is time to leave this office job (although i love the “idea” of working for a company i love and believe in), i also know when your intuition says RUN… you better do it!

life costs more.


was here.

the ‘tortured artist’ cliche. nooow i get it.

hello, there.

so we have a problem — to stay or leave is the question.  i have been working at a corporate office for 16 months now. i don’t know if i dig it. i was hoping to use my creativity at the company but after designing a webpage, a lot of banners and the gift card carrier for them, i pretty much got bored of the repetition of all the other tasks i had to do which i did not enjoy doing (aka HATE doing).

after alt, i got to thinking. there are beautiful, smart, CREATIVE, successful women out there — they do exist! which gave me vast hope. i now got to see visually how i can chase my dream and somehow make a living doing it.

and just because i can do my job at the office very well, does not mean that i should do it.

no regrets, however. i’ve learned a lot about the real world. i graduated college in 2009 … been in the hustle ‘n’ bustle (creating no art). Three years passed. What have i done creatively that i can be proud of?   nothing.

this needs to change. i need to express myself. otherwise i don’t feel like myself. i can’t just fit in a cookie cutter.

i need to shut out the ‘critical parent voice’ in my head and just, well, go for it. do the crazy/right thing  and leave my job. follow my dream. my dream of being a poor, but genuinely REAL artist.

the next time i’m back, i hope i will have created…. something.


was here.

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